Three Sundays of My Life

I knew already that marriage is a wonderful U-Turn of life, you need to take this turn in your lifetime. Does not matter when. But there are also many people who don't accept this truth and some also challenge this aspect. However, to run the generation, we have to run accordingly, I think.

Nov 29, the first Sunday

My dad asked me to come home on Friday and I was going there on Saturday. We were going to Sandhya's parents' home on Sunday. For this, I had no clear preparation. However, I was hopeful for this upcoming event. Saturday, I went home in the evening. I talked with my brother who was already with dad and mom. We all discussed how we will go tomorrow. On Sunday morning, I went to the Saloon and had my hair cut. I also did my face cleansing as it had got some black spots.




Me with my mom

Around 10 or 10.30, I, my brother, my dad, and the mediator (who was also my teacher up to the lower secondary level) drove to her house. That was the first time I went to see a girl for my marriage. I was just in the situation of what to do and not. With the escorting of a police van, we went to her house because the day was declared as a strike. We reached there. My dad, the teacher, and my brother were talking about various matters with the people at Sandhya's parents. I had to do nothing but listening to all the talking.

After some time, her dad asked her to come to that meeting. Just a day before, I had seen her on Facebook. So, I had some images on my cell phone. She was there in her informal dress, which was not according to our expectations. She had worn her T-shirt and a long dress on the down part. Opps!!! Not our expectation.

After a short time, they managed our talking in a private. I asked her many things like if she had seen my photos before? Does she want to get married according to her will? Does she has some relation outside/is it her family's pressure to be ready for the marriage? and some more. They are very common questions if you are going to have an arranged marriage. She was positive in all questions. I asked if she has to ask questions to me. Surprisingly, she replied no because her father had narrated to her all the things and she trusts him without any hesitations.

Then, we came back. Again both parents talked and tried to fix the engagement date. At first, we fixed the date for Friday for the engagement. And 14th of December for the wedding. Later it changed slightly.

6 December, the second Sunday

We went to her home for the engagement. We were in total about 26 people. That morning again I went to the saloon to manage my hair. We went by a microbus. We reached there. The engagement went on. I put on the necklace and a ring, she did a necklace. We were put on garlands. Then the feast went on. We fixed the 13th for the wedding day. We took some photos and returned back. We used to talk for hours during the day I saw her till the wedding day. It was a precious moment for us.

                             
Putting on the engagement ring                                     Engagement special

                                 
My father-in-law                                                                   We both



I was busy on my work in Kathmandu and I had to go to my home village. Ineke, my Dutch friend (Oma) was also going with me for this special occasion. Sunday was the marriage day and we went on Friday. We had brought a lot of warm clothes for the students of the Orbang Primary School. As we reached home, we ate Dal Bhat for which my mom was waiting.

Then we went to the school. We saw some newly reconstructed toilets and houses. And we came down to the school and Oma started to give jackets, trousers, gloves, socks, and hats. I made some photographs.

                      
I am helping Oma                                                     Jacket for a child  


                                 
                   Hats                                                     Hello, little boy...

While coming down, we saw the preparations to make Roti (Tibetan bread).





13 December, the wedding day

I got up with an early morning call from my mother. It was just 3.30 am. We three (me and my 2 friends) slept in Anisha Tripathi's home. She is a very kind lady and she had left her whole house for the guests of our marriage. Coming down, I went for a bath. The priest was already doing some art at Jaggay (the place where the rituals go on). I sat there and went on according to the priest's direction. He is also our relative.

When some rituals finished, I went on and started to change the clothes. The musicians got up and made superb music for the ceremony. I wore a suit, tie, shirt, and pants. So did my brother. Ladies were busy wearing red sarees. After some time, my maternal uncle came with a black umbrella. Then I got outside and make a round on Jaggay.

                    
         Moving around                                                    Relatives


After completing the function it was time for Lagan to set out on a trip to the bride's home. There was a jeep ready to bring us. Oma was sitting at first, then me, my elder sister, and my dad. Janti (the people who accompany the trip) went to Sandhya's parents.

We were getting closer. After crossing the bridge, Janti got out of the buses and walked, not we. I saw a place where people were making food for Jantis. I did not know it was for our jantis, which I knew later. Gradually, we reached Sandhaya's home.

Almost all the things that I used to look at other's marriage have come to me. I was doing all the things that the priest asked me to do. Not only me, but Sandhya also should do them. We exchanged our marriage garlands (Mala), worshipped, and stayed for Khutta Dhune Karyakram (people wash the feet of bride and groom and offer tika and presents) and Sindur program. After this, she became my wife formally. It was a pretty long time and we were taken for lunch. Sandhya is a non-vegetarian and me vegetarian. Does not matter at all.

Again the rituals went on. It took a long time. Now my stomach was full. The day was moving to the darkness. Sandhya was being prepared finally for the departure. Slowly, the situation was going to its climax. She has to go to my family and we were getting her as a new member of our family.

Finally, the time came. She got on a jeep and I sat beside her. The Jantis got on the bus. We reached home in 20 minutes. With some rituals (Mukh herne program), the marriage concluded. Here are some photographs:-
                  



                   


                   




Then the first night came. We talked something and made our promise to accompany in pain and pleasure. The next morning, we had to be prepared for the feast. Good night.

From the early morning, people were busy making food items for the feast. People started to come from 11 a.m. I and Sandhya wore wedding dresses. We also served food at the ceremony. In the evening, we were going to her parents. She was so hurried for this and I also liked it. Because the day after we were going to Sarangkot for the honeymoon.

                              
        Serving at feast                                                               Tikatala

Then we went to Sandhya's parents. They were waiting for us. They welcomed us. My mother-in-law was busy cooking delicious Dal Bhat for us. Sandhya went to her mother and talked with her mother a lot. I talked with my father-in-law. He is an open and friendly man. Quite young as well. Even after dinner, we talked a lot. Sandhya's mother was teaching her about what should be done and not to be done. We had a very great evening. My Salis- Samikshya and Sadikshya  (younger sister-in-law) were listening carefully and sometimes laughing. My Salo (young brother-in-law) is a good boy and he came and sat with me. Everything perfect...

The next morning, mother-in-law made Dal Bhat ready. We ate it and became ready to move. Oma was waiting for our arrival there. We managed our clothes and packed them in a bag. We did everything fast fast fast. Then we asked for the leave with mom, dad, brother, and sister-in-law. We had a wonderful time in Sarangkot...

                           
Sandhya and Oma in Sarangkot                                 Opps!!! can you see me?


                           
The Annapurna Himalayan range...                        Sandhya likes mountains...

                                
We went on boating on the Phewa Lake                     At Talbarahi temple


With a 3 Nights/4 Days trip to Sarangkot, we came back to home. From Germany, our close friends Paul and Rosika sent us support for our honeymoon tour, which helped us a lot for the trip. We are so glad to receive presents and other supports from our friends and relatives. We had spent very little time in Salangghat. So we liked to be there again. We talked with mom and dad. Great time with family.

We (Sandhya and me) thank all the family members, relatives, and others for their great contribution to our wedding management. My mom, dad, uncles, and aunts all performed as the situation demands. My brother Ramesh managed all the things, from the very beginning time. My brother-in-law made their great contribution. My sisters did really well. At that moment, I missed some of the important members as my sisters- Nadja Meulemans (Belgium), Shanta Regmi (Japan), and youngest brother- Hari Khatiwada (Japan), who could not attend the wedding. We know, marriage takes a new turn in anybody's life and we can't be exceptional for this. But we will always try to perform our role to perform our responsible part. Thank you, Sandhya for accepting me as your life partner.


Bhanu Khatiwada and Sandhya Timalsena

Marriage date: 13 December 2015

(The year when Nepal faced the most terrible and devastating earthquake in April and May, along with the several month's border blockage).